How My Husband Was Killed By A Shark and What God Taught Me From It...
I am a singer/songwriter for the broken-hearted. You can listen to my songs at www.purevolume.com and where it says artist, type in angela hill.
The following is my full testimony:
I met my previous husband on November 30, and I got married on January 1, and then became pregnant in March, 1994. My husband lost his job and I wasn’t very happy about the fact that I had to shoulder all the responsibilities, while being pregnant. I have been a hairstylist for 19 years and standing on your feet is not fun at all when you are pregnant.
Every chance I got, I put him down about not supporting me and making me do all the work. So, it really shouldn’t have been a surprise that he began to cheat on me. When he began to cheat on me, he also became very abusive, physically and verbally. I remember one night, I was asleep and he came into the bedroom and drug me out of the bed onto the floor, with a knife in hand, and standing over me with foam coming out of his mouth. All I could say was Jesus and I believe that Jesus protected me through the night.
I was being lulled back into a relationship with God. I was trying my best to study the scriptures to find a biblical way out of this nightmare. So, when I found out that he was cheating on me, I was out the door as fast as you can imagine. I bought furniture and I rented an apartment, and my mind was set on never coming home. I was in my apartment when God asked me if Michael died tonight, where would he go. I told him that he would go to hell. God asked me if I wanted him to go there. As much as I hated him at this point, I told God that I didn’t want to see him go to hell. He then told me that I had to go back home and love him unconditionally. He explained that you couldn’t be mad at someone if they are blind and can’t see. It’s the same way with someone who doesn’t know what love is. Michael didn’t know what love was because he was Catholic and Catholics take their sins to the priest and then the priest takes them before God. (That takes Jesus and his love out of the picture) I told God that I couldn’t forgive him and he asked me why not, because he had forgiven me of my sins. He also told me that if I didn’t go back home that I would continue to go around the mountain. (I would still be attracted to the same type of guy and I would have another husband that will cheat on me or abuse me if I tried to divorce this one without allowing God to deal with me on it) I knew what the mountain was like, because so far that’s all I had experienced and I was getting dizzy going around it. So, I decided to try and obey God for once.
God told me that I had to do 2 things: 1-Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ and 2-I had to see that Michael wasn’t my enemy, the devil is. If I see Michael doing something bad, realize that it is the devil doing it to me.
It was a very hard thing for me to go back home and swallow my pride, but I did it! The devil tortured me for about 2 months, making me realize all of the times that he lied to me and giving me visions of the 2 of them making love. It was almost unbearable. It was during this time that Jesus revealed himself to me. Oddly enough when I was growing up, I didn’t get it. I didn’t realize that I had Jesus and his blood to thank that I wasn’t going to go to hell. I didn’t realize what makes me different because I am a Christian versus a Muslim. It’s his precious blood that makes us acceptable in the sight of God, not anything that I have done. He showed me also that if there was anyone who knew the pain that I was going through, the one that was literally tearing my heart into 2 pieces, it was him. I always visioned Jesus as a whimp, but he showed me that he couldn’t have been a whimp to be a carpenter that carved the wood. He showed me that he didn’t die from all the things that the Romans did to him to kill him. He showed me that what killed him was this very sin and the sins of the whole world, at one time upon him. This is what made his heart explode and cause him to die. So, if there was anyone who knew the pain that I was feeling at that point, it was him. I had a new meaning of "he was wounded for our transgressions" after that.
After that revelation, Jesus was right there to help me to make it through. I am happy to say that within 2 months time I had completely forgiven him. He never apologized, but I wasn’t doing it for him, I was doing it because Jesus had asked me to do it.
We were growing closer again every day and I wanted to find something that we could do together. At this point, he still wanted to go to bars and I couldn’t enjoy that anymore knowing that I had a child at home that needed my care. I decided to learn how to dive, because Michael was a Commercial Diver and he had spent an entire year under water (if you take all of his dive time and add it up) He was a Dive master.
So, off we went to Cozumel, Mexico for a couple of days, with 42 others from our area. As soon as we got there, I went on my open water test with my class and Michael dove with us for a little while. After I finished, he told me that he was going to dive with some other guys on a more advanced dive and he would see me around 5:00. I didn’t want to go because I would have to stay on the boat, so I went back to the hotel. Around 7:00, the US Consulate came to my hotel and told me that my husband had committed suicide. I knew that this wasn’t possible, because Michael was just too familiar with all the dangers of diving. He also told me that my dive instructor was with him and also committed suicide. Because I knew that both of these men were well trained, and they both could not have done this, I asked if there were any sharks in the waters. He told me that people commit suicide all the time there and that just that week, 3 people had committed suicide. He also told me that there wouldn’t be a body because the currents pull the bodies out to sea.
As soon as it was daylight, I chartered a plane to take us up in the air because I was convinced that Michael would be treading water and still be alive. After hours up in the plane, I realized that he was in fact dead. Now, I had to focus on going back home and telling my 2-year old daughter that she would never see her daddy again.
It was hard for me to understand why God sent me back home, only to remove him from our lives 8 months later, but God told me that his death was already appointed when he told me to go back home and that he sent me back home to show him a glimpse of Jesus. By doing this, he would realize that Jesus loves him. He reminded me of the unconditional love that I showed him in those 8 months. He deserved for me to divorce him, but God flowed through me to show him love. It was something that he knew could only come from God.
I didn’t have my final answer about where he went after death until September 11th, 2001. I heard God say, "look for my mercy". With the devastation of our country, and on our soil, I couldn’t see his mercy. So, he explained to me that there were people inside those buildings that used to have a personal relationship with him and at that point they didn’t. He allowed a plane to hit their building and many were forced to jump out of the building. They knew that they had to jump out of the window because they were up too high to be rescued. Before they jumped out the window, they "called on the name of the Lord and they were saved". Most people do not have this opportunity before their death. They are killed before they get a chance to make it right with God. But, what mercy to have a little time to get things straight. I believe God showed me this, because he gave Michael that little bit of time to realize that I went back home to him and loved him with the love that could only come from Jesus. I believe he gave him a choice where he wanted to spend eternity and Michael chose heaven.
Knowing this, made it worth the pain that I endured swallowing my pride and loving a man unconditionally. I know that he is in heaven and that I will see him again, but I am just glad that for the first time in my life that I made a decision to obey Jesus, no matter what the cost.
I am now married to a wonderful man, who had another daughter. We are blending very well after being together 6 years. (Michael has been dead now for 8 years) I know that God also used this to teach me how to be a good wife to my husband and a good mother to my 2 girls.
This was a poem that God gave me after Michael's death:
My Gentle Call
When at first I lost my love, my heart was ripped in two.
The pain of loss, the smell of death, the missed words, "I love you".
I cried out in pain for many days. That, I will never deny.
But, as I weep, the Lord speaks to me and answers all my whys.
How could this happen so very soon to someone full of life?
And it seems as though he whispers to me "My ways are not your ways"
The time is soon for me to come to catch my bride away.
You've heard that I hung on the tree to save you from your sins.
But, did you know this I had to do, for you to enter in?
This death was so that all would come and hear my gentle call.
There's no one here by mistake, no not one at all.
This life I used to teach you that there's no promise of tomorrow.
Please accept my love for now and then the rest will follow.
Don't let another day pass by, please take the time right now.
If you haven't accepted me, please take a silent bow.
As for you my child, that weeps for her love, that I have here with me,
He's in a place you can not imagine, where he'll be for eternity.
The following is my full testimony:
I met my previous husband on November 30, and I got married on January 1, and then became pregnant in March, 1994. My husband lost his job and I wasn’t very happy about the fact that I had to shoulder all the responsibilities, while being pregnant. I have been a hairstylist for 19 years and standing on your feet is not fun at all when you are pregnant.
Every chance I got, I put him down about not supporting me and making me do all the work. So, it really shouldn’t have been a surprise that he began to cheat on me. When he began to cheat on me, he also became very abusive, physically and verbally. I remember one night, I was asleep and he came into the bedroom and drug me out of the bed onto the floor, with a knife in hand, and standing over me with foam coming out of his mouth. All I could say was Jesus and I believe that Jesus protected me through the night.
I was being lulled back into a relationship with God. I was trying my best to study the scriptures to find a biblical way out of this nightmare. So, when I found out that he was cheating on me, I was out the door as fast as you can imagine. I bought furniture and I rented an apartment, and my mind was set on never coming home. I was in my apartment when God asked me if Michael died tonight, where would he go. I told him that he would go to hell. God asked me if I wanted him to go there. As much as I hated him at this point, I told God that I didn’t want to see him go to hell. He then told me that I had to go back home and love him unconditionally. He explained that you couldn’t be mad at someone if they are blind and can’t see. It’s the same way with someone who doesn’t know what love is. Michael didn’t know what love was because he was Catholic and Catholics take their sins to the priest and then the priest takes them before God. (That takes Jesus and his love out of the picture) I told God that I couldn’t forgive him and he asked me why not, because he had forgiven me of my sins. He also told me that if I didn’t go back home that I would continue to go around the mountain. (I would still be attracted to the same type of guy and I would have another husband that will cheat on me or abuse me if I tried to divorce this one without allowing God to deal with me on it) I knew what the mountain was like, because so far that’s all I had experienced and I was getting dizzy going around it. So, I decided to try and obey God for once.
God told me that I had to do 2 things: 1-Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ and 2-I had to see that Michael wasn’t my enemy, the devil is. If I see Michael doing something bad, realize that it is the devil doing it to me.
It was a very hard thing for me to go back home and swallow my pride, but I did it! The devil tortured me for about 2 months, making me realize all of the times that he lied to me and giving me visions of the 2 of them making love. It was almost unbearable. It was during this time that Jesus revealed himself to me. Oddly enough when I was growing up, I didn’t get it. I didn’t realize that I had Jesus and his blood to thank that I wasn’t going to go to hell. I didn’t realize what makes me different because I am a Christian versus a Muslim. It’s his precious blood that makes us acceptable in the sight of God, not anything that I have done. He showed me also that if there was anyone who knew the pain that I was going through, the one that was literally tearing my heart into 2 pieces, it was him. I always visioned Jesus as a whimp, but he showed me that he couldn’t have been a whimp to be a carpenter that carved the wood. He showed me that he didn’t die from all the things that the Romans did to him to kill him. He showed me that what killed him was this very sin and the sins of the whole world, at one time upon him. This is what made his heart explode and cause him to die. So, if there was anyone who knew the pain that I was feeling at that point, it was him. I had a new meaning of "he was wounded for our transgressions" after that.
After that revelation, Jesus was right there to help me to make it through. I am happy to say that within 2 months time I had completely forgiven him. He never apologized, but I wasn’t doing it for him, I was doing it because Jesus had asked me to do it.
We were growing closer again every day and I wanted to find something that we could do together. At this point, he still wanted to go to bars and I couldn’t enjoy that anymore knowing that I had a child at home that needed my care. I decided to learn how to dive, because Michael was a Commercial Diver and he had spent an entire year under water (if you take all of his dive time and add it up) He was a Dive master.
So, off we went to Cozumel, Mexico for a couple of days, with 42 others from our area. As soon as we got there, I went on my open water test with my class and Michael dove with us for a little while. After I finished, he told me that he was going to dive with some other guys on a more advanced dive and he would see me around 5:00. I didn’t want to go because I would have to stay on the boat, so I went back to the hotel. Around 7:00, the US Consulate came to my hotel and told me that my husband had committed suicide. I knew that this wasn’t possible, because Michael was just too familiar with all the dangers of diving. He also told me that my dive instructor was with him and also committed suicide. Because I knew that both of these men were well trained, and they both could not have done this, I asked if there were any sharks in the waters. He told me that people commit suicide all the time there and that just that week, 3 people had committed suicide. He also told me that there wouldn’t be a body because the currents pull the bodies out to sea.
As soon as it was daylight, I chartered a plane to take us up in the air because I was convinced that Michael would be treading water and still be alive. After hours up in the plane, I realized that he was in fact dead. Now, I had to focus on going back home and telling my 2-year old daughter that she would never see her daddy again.
It was hard for me to understand why God sent me back home, only to remove him from our lives 8 months later, but God told me that his death was already appointed when he told me to go back home and that he sent me back home to show him a glimpse of Jesus. By doing this, he would realize that Jesus loves him. He reminded me of the unconditional love that I showed him in those 8 months. He deserved for me to divorce him, but God flowed through me to show him love. It was something that he knew could only come from God.
I didn’t have my final answer about where he went after death until September 11th, 2001. I heard God say, "look for my mercy". With the devastation of our country, and on our soil, I couldn’t see his mercy. So, he explained to me that there were people inside those buildings that used to have a personal relationship with him and at that point they didn’t. He allowed a plane to hit their building and many were forced to jump out of the building. They knew that they had to jump out of the window because they were up too high to be rescued. Before they jumped out the window, they "called on the name of the Lord and they were saved". Most people do not have this opportunity before their death. They are killed before they get a chance to make it right with God. But, what mercy to have a little time to get things straight. I believe God showed me this, because he gave Michael that little bit of time to realize that I went back home to him and loved him with the love that could only come from Jesus. I believe he gave him a choice where he wanted to spend eternity and Michael chose heaven.
Knowing this, made it worth the pain that I endured swallowing my pride and loving a man unconditionally. I know that he is in heaven and that I will see him again, but I am just glad that for the first time in my life that I made a decision to obey Jesus, no matter what the cost.
I am now married to a wonderful man, who had another daughter. We are blending very well after being together 6 years. (Michael has been dead now for 8 years) I know that God also used this to teach me how to be a good wife to my husband and a good mother to my 2 girls.
This was a poem that God gave me after Michael's death:
My Gentle Call
When at first I lost my love, my heart was ripped in two.
The pain of loss, the smell of death, the missed words, "I love you".
I cried out in pain for many days. That, I will never deny.
But, as I weep, the Lord speaks to me and answers all my whys.
How could this happen so very soon to someone full of life?
And it seems as though he whispers to me "My ways are not your ways"
The time is soon for me to come to catch my bride away.
You've heard that I hung on the tree to save you from your sins.
But, did you know this I had to do, for you to enter in?
This death was so that all would come and hear my gentle call.
There's no one here by mistake, no not one at all.
This life I used to teach you that there's no promise of tomorrow.
Please accept my love for now and then the rest will follow.
Don't let another day pass by, please take the time right now.
If you haven't accepted me, please take a silent bow.
As for you my child, that weeps for her love, that I have here with me,
He's in a place you can not imagine, where he'll be for eternity.
posted by Angela Hill at 7:00 PM
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